Dear Paris Hilton,
I'm sorry to hear that your grandpa, Barron Hilton, was so disgusted with your antics this past year that he allegedly decided to take you out of his will. Now instead of splitting $2.4 billion between you and your sibs, your portion will be donated to charity. Yikes. Better create another perfume if you want to keep up the lifestyle to which you've become accustomed. Perhaps you can name it "Screwed."
Hey, look on the bright side; you can finally take down that morbid "days 'till gramps kicks the bucket" calendar count-down that most likely hangs in your room.
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